21 December 2013

Be Interesting

It's soirée season. And there's nothing more boring than hearing about someone's illness, political gripes, or children. These are fucking dull subjects. Avoid them.

I say this after having attended an exhausting round of Christmas parties during the last two weeks. There's another one tonight. I shall let you know how it turns out.

As you know, I came of age in a vastly different time and place--and it wasn't that long ago. When I was a young man I was expected to attend holiday parties. And I did.

Do you have a party trick? I do. In London at Christmas and New Year's Eve gatherings our well-connected neighbour-hostess required of her attendees some kind of party trick: a joke, magic trick, amusing anecdote, quotation, etc.

It was regarded as a gift, the least one could do in return for her generosity. For my part I chose to present the John Donne poem 'A Hymn to Christ, At the Author's Last Going Into Germany', my recitation of which rarely failed to amuse fellow guests. I had memorised the poem at school for reasons lost to me now. More on this later.

Not having a family to speak of, I'm unclear as to how modern people celebrate holiday family gatherings these days. But for you, I recommend being as interesting as possible. And, work on the art of having a conversation!

5 comments:

  1. I haven't done this since my early 20s in the military. But my trick was the Elvis lighter.

    I'd take a cigarette, put it in my mouth, get my zippo lighter, and do a number of Elvis-like moves, including twirling the lighter in the air, as prelude to lighting the cigarette, taking a deep drag, and pocketing the Zippo.

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  2. I sacrifice a goat while reading selected portions from Mother Goose. It's a real ice breaker at parties. Sometimes it's interesting to hear about peoples' illnesses, especially when you can't stand them. Also, I sometimes enjoy hearing about their children, provided they have been arrested and are in search of experienced counsel. Enjoy your Holidays LBF!

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  3. I can recite the "Owl and the Pussycat". Long snatches of Kipling. I can flip a pencil relatively high in the air and catch it and do it again. Pretty much endlessly and without looking. This last was a trick I employed when I ran an investment firm; flipping the pencil while never taking my eyes from the associate making his pitch for a transaction. Decades later these associates have become rich men who remember the fear this feat put in them.

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  4. Another Christmas party tonight.

    Like Atlas bearing the world...

    No one lives these days. No adventures, no risk.

    So they ask me for stories. Sad when a 28 year old has lived fuller than a 50 year old.

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  5. Frohe Weihnachten, Herr Admiral.

    Raoul

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