Royal Wedding Provisions

The word on the street is that I am some sort of royalist. For once they are right: I am, indeed, avowedly so. Monarchy is the most natural form of government and I am a natural kind of chap. I would much sooner be ruled by an hereditary monarch than by the ambitious, grasping, power-hungry products of a so-called meritocracy and party-political system. When it comes to the sacrament of marriage, however, I am rather less sanguine, in light of recent events. But never mind. I plan to celebrate the nuptials of H.R.H. Prince William of Wales and Catherine Middleton with determination and a smile, cocktails-at-the-ready as always.

My personal connection to the monarchy is absolutely non-existent. All I have are memories and anecdotes. I do of course remember being forced to watch the wedding of H.R.H. Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer in 1981 (what a glorious summer it was!) and in subsequent years was kept up-to-date on the sad decline of their union thanks to a salacious media machine. Too much has already been said and written about that, you can be sure.

In 1988 Princess Diana narrowly avoided running me over in her small blue motor car just outside Kensington Palace. I happened to be one of the first visitors to Kensington Palace on the misty morning of August 31, 1997, before the heaps of flowers, cards, teddy bears, and crowds of mourners. The public reaction in Britain to Princess Diana's passing was largely a media-fuelled triumph of hysteria and emotionalism, I thought, which convinced me the Americanisation of Britain was finally complete. But enough about that. What is good, true, and beautiful will endure. We musn't forget it.

It's time to celebrate! With that in mind, I raise my glass to H.R.H. Prince William of Wales and Catherine Middleton.