Discourse on Boob Jobs

About a month ago a colleague of mine at the bank spent a night with a young woman he picked up in a bar in West Hollywood. During the proceedings he surreptitiously snapped some photos of her naked.

The reason he did so was her alarmingly lopsided boob job: one breast up, one down. Literally. He texted it to some of us. It was funny and grotesque at the same time. The photo is now doing the rounds in offices in Los Angeles and New York. I wish every woman considering breast enhancement surgery could see it.

A girl friend just told me about a young woman whose fake tits slipped their moorings and fell into her rib cage whilst she was practising yoga. Imagine the embarrassment.

Southern California is rife with women who've gone under the knife, though I've been told Buenos Aires is even worse. London and New York have their share, too, but the women there have fewer opportunities to flaunt it on the streets.

I prefer my women to have natural breasts, for love-making and child-rearing purposes. Up to a certain point, of course, big surgically-enhanced breasts are definitely a sexual turn-on. It's only when one gets one's paws on them that they seem less than ideal: hard, rigid, shiny, unyielding, comic.

As a chap I can report--after years of exhaustive qualitative research and comparative analysis--that fake tits are not all they are supposed to be. Natural is best.