The two of us sat under the thorn trees getting to know each other.
"I'm attracted to you," she said between mouthfuls of spicy shrimp ceviche, "because you're manly, you're masculine. You're different."
I nodded at her, careful not to get any avocado on my Lacoste polo shirt. This is something I have heard many times before, most recently from my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend.
"Do go on."
"I love it that you're so politically incorrect, and you just say and do what you want," she continued, her huge Latin eyes looking into mine. "Most men here are weak and effeminate, with their skinny jeans and hair product. They're so...fruity."
I laughed. I knew exactly what she meant. In fact I have heard the same thing from other young women in recent years.
If you spend any time wining and dining the ladies, as I do, you will know that they find modern men mostly inadequate. They sense there is something missing--but they cannot define it. When pressed they will explain that men are not aggressive enough, not as strong or as dominant as they would like them to be. Certainly, as you know, I have long noted the softness--in body and mind--of my contemporaries. It is one reason I have set myself apart. Because of this phenomenon I have recently mistakenly assumed several straight male acquaintances to be hippies. And I have observed it in other parts of this country, not just Southern California.
What the deuce is going on here?
There may be an explanation. A recent study from the University of Lausanne has demonstrated that women taking the contraceptive pill prefer men with less masculine traits. If true, the implications are enormous. Could it be that for the last few decades the West has been producing men who are less manly than preceding generations? Are the metrosexual, hipster, and pantywaist the products of a sinister breeding project designed to pussify our civilisation?
It would explain a lot.
In addition to my beautiful Mexican lunch-time companion, with whom I plan on taking things a step further, at the moment I am generously tutoring a young Russian hottie who has appealed to me for assistance in understanding the peculiarities of American men.
Their loss, I suppose, is my gain.