28 April 2014

The Drugs Don't Work

In an exclusive report, I can reveal to you here that two years ago I started using drugs on a nightly basis. I must say, it was very relaxing. After a stressful 14-hour day, and combined with evening cocktails and codeine pills, it produced a very pleasant effect.

As you may imagine, the effect seems to vary with individual. Some young men I know use it in the morning to pump themselves up in the office after an early morning spent surfing.

I would say up to 90% of the chaps who work at my New York-based asset management firm are users of illicit pharmaceuticals of some sort. And from what I've heard from other chaps at investment and real estate firms, weed usage is rampant there, too, including a couple of local companies whose names are regularly in top-shelf news. You would recognise them if I named them.

I know of one successful investment banker who is currently battling his compliance department over plans to start his own medical marijuana dispensary facility on the side.

Certainly it was an enjoyable way to wind down after a hectic day at the orifice. But has it expanded my consciousness or provoked unique insights? Has it allowed me to explore the archipelago of my mind? Not really. I need something more powerful.

Is marijuana use worse than wine abuse, caffeine consumption, or escort whore usage? I'm not sure. In many cases there are other, harder drugs at work, which I won't get into here. It's the proliferation of escort use amongst local professionals that really has me interested. The tales I could tell...!


Ryu said...

Do they use beta blockers as well? They reduce anxiety. Musicans use them.

How about the so called brain enhancing drugs like ridalin or modafil? There is some class of drugs, I've forgotten it now, that offer cognitive enhancement.

atlantis said...

"Certainly it's an enjoyable way to wind down after a hectic day at the orifice. "


Thordaddy said...

All "drugs" are PEDs by default and a seemingly arbitrary control over the degrees of legality of these "drugs" are correlated well to their potential PED effect.

Of course, the King of PEDs... The "drug" that lay at the center of the Civil War...

"It" is now a toxic poison with absolutely no performance enhancement capability.

Anonymous said...

Bad move, old chap. Better men than you have crashed and burned from such recreational pharmaceutical use. The mixing of any psychotropic drug with alcohol is especially dangerous; a particularly nasty combo being benodiazapines (valium et al.) and alcohol. While I support legalization of marijuana, etc., etc., you are making a major foray into very dangerous territory in terms of potential consequences, both physical and legal. Brain chemistry is not so well understood as to make using even the so called "smart drugs" a safe pursuit. With all due respect, I would suggest you seek enlightenment elsewhere; you have too much at stake.
(Dr.) Raoul Fazool

Anonymous said...

Lapsus calami?

...or symptom?

Ordnungssinn said...

Let's never jump to hasty conclusions about escorts!

Outside caffeine and alcohol, I have no history of the harder drugs. Perhaps a lasting legacy of an upper middle class background.

An ex-business partner of my father's crashed and burned on drugs. He had a beautiful home in Newport. No idea where the guy is now. Probably trying to call my favorite escorts...

w. adam mandelbaum esq. said...

Marijuana is easier to keep lit than an escort. Then again, only a certain type wants their escort to be a flamer.