25 March 2015

My disdain for the paparazzi began early. When I was 9 my parents hired a professional photographer for a family portrait somewhere in rural CT. I thought the whole thing was gay, and, befitting my stubborn, contemptuous nature, refused to smile for it. The photographer kept cajoling and teasing me to get me to smile, but I refused. I quickly came to hate that prick. He ended up taking a bunch of pictures in which I could only manage an awkward smirk. Needless to say, I ruined the day for everyone, they informed me. Certainly the incident contributed to the growing rift and estrangement between me and my relatives which persists to this day. Just because I didn’t want to look like a grinning little idiot. Mofos.

7 comments:

deborahann15 said...

I hate posing for portraits with my family. When one person is posed, the photographer moves on to the next and then someone who is not suppose to move does so anyway! The picture isn't always perfect but it's good to have pictures for the sake of memories.

dash deringer said...

yea... I hate smiling for pictures and people telling me to do so - take the fucking picture and let me get on with my life... my jaw and face still hurt from and incident a while back. I don't need to smile for fools to show that I am happy - anyway... I am not in too many family group pictures but the part that worries me is that nobody knows my whereabouts when these pictures were all taken... I hate to think that I just wasn't asked to participate... but I can see that happening... I am the lone wolf of my family.

Keir said...

Absolutely empathise with your experience!

Jacobite said...

My parents had my portrait painted when I was 12. I refused to smile for the artist and indeed I'm looking rather a severe young man in the final result. Interestingly my Parris Island photo in dress blues shows the same general visage.

Ordnungssinn said...

Refused to smile for pictures. The defiance only grows in adulthood. Why the fuck should any man be smiling like a dumbass is beyond me.

Don't even get started on engagement/wedding photos. My wife knew better. Doesn't stop the rest of the masses from making sure their entire hallway is covered in them.

Anonymous said...

Mofos? Is Eddie Murphy ghost writing your blog these days?

Hardie said...

What a horrible kid you were!