18 June 2015

Saturday Night Cat Fight

Saturday night's alright for fighting, apparently, because I recently had two girls fight over me.

So the other night I went out with a girlfriend to a live music venue in Laguna Beach. We procured some cocktails and stood near the stage. The IOIs [Indicators of Interest] started coming in thick and fast, particularly from a group of hot thirtysomething blondes who were gyrating across the dance floor. Of course, my girlfriend noticed and immediately got into defense mode.

At one point one of the tiny blondes slid in between us and started grinding her tight little ass on my chopper. It was quite blatant. Having consumed several G&Ts by that point, I honestly didn't much care at first, but my lady companion did and words were exchanged.

I was oblivious to what was going down next to me, until another woman--who was there with her boyfriend and who kept smiling at me and rubbing my beard (which was also driving my companion crazy)--told me what was up. My girlfriend and the tiny blonde were in each other's face and threatening each other. I caught the words "fucking cunt" and "fuck off". It looked as if blows were about to be exchanged.

After I told her to calm down my lady finally just turned her back on her and the little blonde backed off, swearing and spitting. I turned around and yelled at her to fuck off, chill out, relax, and enjoy the music. She slinked away to the back of the bar with her friends. She was still glaring at us when we left at midnight.

 I think I handled the scene rather well and prevented what could have turned into major drama and possible crime scene and spilled blood on the dance floor. I didn't want to be a total scoundrel to the little blonde and her hot friends because, well, you never know. One has to leave one's options open.

My one regret was not getting the number of the woman who kept smiling at me and rubbing my bearded face. She was seriously sexy, with long light brown hair bleached at the ends and a rack to die for. Her boyfriend, strangely enough, was cool with it and kept trying to make nice with me.

 It's all about attitude and how you carry yourself.

The funny thing is, when I was yelling at the tiny blonde to fuck off and chill out--I had to raise my voice due to the loud music--she had what I think was an aroused look on her face and it seemed as if she was about to kiss me.

There's always next Saturday.


Anonymous said...

Good job. You came to the aid of your lady friend for the evening. It was the right thing to do. However, you shouldn't have let it even get that far. How long do ya have to wait before saying "fuck off"? Sure you want to keep your options open but Geez! That tiny blonde was very close to screwing you then and there.
I don't get the whole scene. First, my man would only have eyes for me.
So there would be no need for me to be offensive---no worries. Second, he would push her away before she even got close enough to touch him. Some women are such whiny scaredy cats. They have no sense of presence about them at all. They are so unsure about themselves and so of course their men are unsure about them too.

Anonymous said...

There's nothing fogeyish about your sleazy tales of life in Laguna Beach. Charles Moore and Gavin Stamp would surely be appalled.