10 December 2012

The Carolingian Inference

South Laguna Beach

A brief update. The word on the street is that I have been extraordinarily busy at the orifice in recent months. The last six weeks of the year are when the resolve of many professional chaps seems to slacken. For me, it is time to gird one's Tweed suit and sally forth with renewed determination. Nose to the grindstone, and all that. It is always best to finish strong.

As you know, I loathe the holiday season with a loathing of white-hot fervidness. The lumpen holiday tunes. Displays of naked capitalist-consumerism. The spectacle of earnest females busily engaged in buying up shitty little baubles. And memories, for me, of big family dinners beset with squabbling, drama, argument, drama, gossip, and more drama. I simply never felt it, a condition extending to certain other areas of life of which I am sure my family from my earliest years were quite aware. Modern Americans only seem to come together if it involves monetary exchange, and even then there really is very little there. It almost moves me to violence. Modern life presents the civilised man not with disappointment, as John Cheever famously said, but with insult.

I work hard, true, but, as you may have heard, I do like to have fun on a regular basis. And this usually involves a pretty filly or two. My recent reports on the topic have been meagre, I admit; I aim to remedy this shortly. I will tell you one thing, though. I regularly patrol the champagne-pits of the California show-coast where I encounter hordes of seriously attractive, single, childless women in their 30s-40s trolling for rich beta-bait. The number of such females is quite startling. Easy pickings for some of us--but cause for serious despair for others, including the foolish females themselves. I am taking--and have taken--full advantage of the sexual availability of modern females. But there lingers at the back of my mind--I do not deny it--an idea that something better once prevailed.

If it is true the present consortium is breaking up and circumstances have not yet progressed to the point where men can finally experience life as it is meant to be experienced--in full blood and glory--then there are worse places to be than poolside with a cocktail in one hand and a hottie in the other.

Sent from my iPhone

8 comments:

Tabitha said...

One day I shall lure you here. You know you are always welcome.

Ordnungssinn said...

Glad to see you are still having fun with those women. Once got trapped with a housewife who thought she was oh so high society because she bought the worst art in the galleries along the main drag. The foreigners from Fullerton and Anaheim who clogged the beaches and stores annoyed me less.

LBF, you will have to forgive me as my last couple of visits to my parents have been experienced in LA rather than their southern OC home, but the photo looks like 2nd or 3rd Ave and PCH. I fear my Irvine days recede further and further into my memory so I may be off a bit. Is that illegal alien pick up site for daily work still there on Laguna Canyon Rd? There's an easy target in the future struggles...

Ryu said...

It certainly will not last forever. Sex can be degrading for men as well. Take care not to become like Roosh or Roissy. Something happens when a man violates what is best in him.

Firepower said...

Leave It To Cheever

Anonymous said...

LBF, I enjoy your musings of the sordid American life, but I think I speak for many when I say that I would also enjoy reading a list of instructions you believe people should follow in their own personal lives, such as what to read, how to arrange the house, how you should choose your friends, and so on. You are obviously very insightful, learned, and well-experienced.

eradica said...

I've asked LBF to espouse and explicate crucial financial matters (anonymously, if he needs discretion) to unenlightened allies on a friendly, simpatico, quaint little site.

Anonymous said...

why is admiral cod dating 30-40 year old women? I envision him more with a young 25 year old with nary a wrinkle, cellulite, nor drooping bosom. If he is as sophisticated, cultured, and handsome as my impression of him is, why is he wasting time on less desirable women? please elaborate what your standards are so we can live vicariously through your exploits...

Anonymous said...

Well,I see your point. I don't care much for exchanging gifts myself. I buy for my children at Christmas. I set a budget as to how much I will spend on each child. I feel guilty when I think I have bought them too much "stuff"--after all, that is what it is-stuff. As far as others are concerned, I don't spend much on them and I wish they wouldn't spend much on me. What I do love about the holidays . . . seeing my family and friends, looking at Christmas lights, children singing,etc . . . all the things that money can't buy. I especially love Christmas Eve communion--my favorite. "Though fools have said in their hearts there is no God, wise men still seek Him today." (it's from a song). Seek Him while He still may be found.