05 August 2010

Dating an Investment Banker: Where to Find Your Perfect Partner - 12 More Top Firms

The popular Wall Street dating website, Here is the City, has rated a further 12 top financial markets firms in terms of how likely they are to provide single females with their perfect partner. Here is the line-up:



Now these guys are dark horses. Easy to underestimate, you will get sucked in before you realise it. The have a subtle charm and an easy manner. They are also stayers. When they select you as their mate, it's usually for life.


Not the most sophisticated date you'll ever have. Don't expect much by way of romance either. More Wal-Mart than Harrods between the sheets, but at least it's over fairly quickly. They have a good heart, though, and mean well.

BNP Paribas

If you ever wanted proof that not all Frenchmen have smouldering good looks and are AAA-rated in bed, then just date someone from BNP Paribas. Say no more.

Cantor Fitzgerald

These guys have a bad reputation. Yes, he can be hard to handle, and he does enjoy himself with his mates, but he will always come home (even though you might never know where he's actually been). But life will never be dull, and you'll be very well looked after financially.

Houlihan Lokey

If it seems too good to be true, it usually is - but not with these guys. Tall, elegant, and totally at ease with themselves. Real men, who are in touch with their feminine side too - without wanting to dress up in your clothes, which is a bonus (unless you're into that sort of thing, of course).


These guys are usually pretty boring, but boring isn't always bad. Remember, boring banks and boring bankers are in vogue these days. You won't have the biggest house in the street, and you won't own the flashiest car, but you'll get by. And if life is dull, well, you can always have a discrete affair.


It's just not true that these guys spend most of their time at work looking at soft porn - that was just one guy, and he did it by accident (and then only once!). The big downside, however, is that not everyone in the factory is a millionaire these days, and a girl might not be looked after as once she might.


What you see is what you get with these guys (at least the original Nomura lot). They love life, and overindulge themselves at every opportunity. Everything they do, they do to excess. The problem is, they might not always have time for you.

The ex-Lehman guys are a different lot - they play their cards much closer to their chest, and will be more interested in preening themselves than complimenting you on how you look.

Royal Bank of Canada

These guys are men of integrity. They are upstanding members of the community, who will always treat you with respect. But cheat on them just once (and get caught), and you'll be out. And you'll never find out where the treasure is buried.

Royal Bank of Scotland

Don't be put off by the misconception that only Scottish people work in this firm. No, the Scots were simply those who were responsible for almost bankrupting it. And in any case, not all Scottish people are ginger; some are actually very nice.

Standard Bank

A right cool lot these guys. They were smart enough to get out of all the other firms when the troubles began, and are now sitting pretty in a decent bank going places. The big problem is that they are also clever enough to spot a gold digger at 20 paces.

Wells Fargo

These guys can be as wild as the West, but you wouldn't believe it to look at them. But after a drink, he's anybody's, and that's sometimes hard to live with.


Belle de Ville said...

Very clever. I would forward this post to my son to read, but the investment company that he works for has banned blogger, and facebook of course, from their computer system!

A.E.F. said...

Admiral, Do you seriously think any woman desperate/wanton enough to date a banker would be circumspect enough to read this ??