20 December 2011

On mens sana in corpore sano

Recent successes at the office and in the bedroom have encouraged me to approach the training regimen with renewed dedication. To prepare for the impending conflicts, I follow a strict cardio and weight-training programme at least five mornings a week. Physical training is not only important for fitness, but also for looking good.

You might be surprised to learn I have also signed up for 'Spinning' class. It surprised me, too, as it wasn't my choice. Spinning, as you know, is sort of like cycling in place; it works the lower and upper body. Participants are encouraged to move around in unison, as if dancing atop their machine. At this stage I am more concerned with completing the session in one piece than with executing the correct dance moves. And anyway, I find most modern dance vulgar. It never ceases to interest me that the highest art form (Music) should inevitably be accompanied by the lowest (Dance).

The sight of a dozen tight female behinds bobbing up and down in front of me would, under different circumstances, provoke in me thoughts of a most roguish nature. But, again, my mind is focused on more existential matters. I simply want to survive, at least until the end of class. After three Spinning sessions I feel as if my bulging, muscular thighs have been whipped by hot chains and my backside violated by a spiked cricket bat. Not good. But, as they say, what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. And so it shall.

The renewed focus on fitness extends to diet. As you know, I follow a Paleo-like diet consisting of meat, eggs, green vegetables, nuts, and lots of tea. Supplemented, of course, by wine, whisky, gin, and occasional cheeseburgers. I avoid fast food. If you insist on asking me to eat a carton of Chicken McNuggets, I'll punch you in the face. I haven't had a Coke or Pepsi since the early 1990s, and no carbonated soft drinks of any kind for over 10 years. I lack a sweet tooth. In fact I detest candy. I view sugar, carbs, processed foods, and baked goods the same way I view American society: empty, destructive, useless, devoid of value.

And there's the connection. The revolt against modernity involves not only right-thinking, but also right-living. The lies I woke up to in my 20s were the lies concerning women, race, judaics, history, economics, etc., that the liberal-totalitarian Establishment shoves down our throat. But awakening also forces a reappraisal of one's manner of living, and, if need be, a general rejection of modern American consumer culture in all of its manifestations. And that includes adopting the right fitness training regimen and diet. Don't be afraid to become who you are. Live your resistance.

24 comments:

La Sombra Sofisticada said...

We share similar thoughts on exercise and diet, although I have a sweet tooth ;)

Stockton Andrews II said...

As the Boy Scouts say:"Be prepared." Whisky has more than one use in an emergency and fits well into an "earthquake" disaster kit. I trust you've got a kit in your Benz?

The Dandy Man Can said...

Wonderful post. What a great comparison between sugary & processed foods to American society!

Bourbon&Pearls said...

Too many giggles here for me,
No.1 : That first sentence will never ever be mine , alas
No.2.Iam the tight high butted honey in row three, I spin 4 mornings every week! I love it!

Bourbon&Pearls said...

Oh and like LSS i have a terrible sweet tooth, we need summer sugar weight to see us through our miserable dark winters

NJS said...

Right - I have just got to ask this (and I make no express admissions and none are to be implied): what are "successes in the bedroom"?

I too have a sweet tooth and recently consumed 10 kilos of 'Lion' butterscotch and liquorice gums (one of each at a time) in about two weeks.
NJS

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

NJS ~ "Romantic conquests"

Michael said...

Good for you Admiral. I am in my 67th year and have been toiling on roads, treadmills, rowing shells, road bikes, Alpine trails, black runs, cross country skis, free weights, machines, tennis and squash courts for 37 of them. Gravity cannot be defeated but it can be held at bay.

Press on.

NJS said...

LBF - Is that it? I mean it promises so much more specificity.

Anonymous said...

Spinning? Didn't you consider taking a gentleman's sport like boxing, wrestlig, fencing, or rowing?

Yankee-Whisky-Papa said...

I had an instructor at school who shouted that bit of Latin at us as he forced us to play soccer and rugby despite the freezing winter. We weren't in temperate England... this was in the mortheast, and it was shockingly cold.

Vernon said...

Red Auerbach required his championship Boston Celtic teams to take ballet.

Anonymous said...

If you are really serious get yourself into an intense hot yoga practice. The mind, body, spirit connection is very real and results in excellent judgement about diet, excercise and lifestyle. I have been doing about five hours per week for seven years and it has changed my life all for the better. You begin to understand the true nature of good health.

Cyprian Korzeniowski said...

Dance certainly isn't on the same level as music, but its current state of vulgarity and degeneracy is on account of the vulgar and degenerate taste makers in power. Negro bump n grind aside, classical ballet trumps whatever the avant garde crowd can come up with. For whatever reason, some choreographers want to wreck every convention in sight, instead of sticking to or improving them.

Derek Warren said...

Love the post. Aren't you looking forward to the New Year's Resolution Crowd spilling into your spin class next month?

Rest easily in knowing that nothing, except maybe a circus, will tear down, pack up, and ship out faster than the tubbies in dri-fits at the gym.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

NJS ~ "Sexual conquests"

NJS said...

LBF - Yes, but do you mean: several successes with the same girl at different times or several successes with different girls at different times - or even several successes with different girls at the same time?

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

NJS ~ The first two.

GP said...

Spinning will super-size your aged prostate leaving you impotent or worse. Hunting boar and the like will restore your virility.

Thirty Miles At Sea said...

A fine article. You are coming around on cycling, then?

Chris said...

@NJS
"To prepare for the impending conflicts..."
There's your answer.

@LBF
May I suggest CrossFit? Its culture may not be amenable, but once you learn the basics you can incorporate them into your own workouts. I find that it stalls the upward trajectory of hypertrophy, but that is actually desirable for staying in elegant clothes.

NJS said...

I have been persuaded that I should do something about my fitness and have determined to smoke my pipe on the beach from now on.

el viajero impresionista said...

Good question the one from the Anonymous on Dec 21st.

initials CG said...

On a strange level I get the question and answer volley going between LBF and NJS....

Only a few years separate the inquisitiveness (is this even a word??) of one and the straightforward but timid answers from the other.

Physical activity keeps the hormonal levels high, but as we pass the mid forties it starts to wane a bit as our drive to be up at 5am for 300 ab workout 200 rep chest, 100 squat routine really just doesn't sound so cool anymore...even if she is watching as she wears your tailored white shirt. About the tenth time, you ask yourself "what the hell is her name," and "damn, I was planning on wearing that one today!" When this happens, you're fucked.