11 November 2011

Brasserie Encounter

On my way home from the office last night, I stopped by a local brasserie for a cocktail. A G&T, to be precise. The bartenders are all friends of a friend and know exactly the way I like it.

I stood at the bar and calmly surveyed the talent, downing three drinks in 15 minutes. The place held a smattering of office workers, couples, Persian players, cougars, and escorts.

It was only then I noticed the people sitting next to me.

Tall, tanned, blonde, bloated, affluent-looking, the sort that probably attended USC and get annoyed when I pointedly assume they spent their college years in South Carolina.

"Oh, you went to the other USC..."

These people were staring at me with the same bemused, stupid, smug incomprehension the Indians must have had when the Spaniards landed upon these shores.

The head douchebag, an older man with red face, untucked stripey shirt, and denim, smiled at me and said: "Why are you wearing a tie?"

I turned and slowly looked him up and down.

"So I don't look like you people".

One of the advantages of being a tall muscled chap is that I can say such things and get away with it.

A younger guy wearing a baseball cap immediately stepped in, introducing himself as John, and offered to buy me a drink, which I accepted.

The evening ended without violent incident.

21 comments:

Ian Dundrillon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
A.E.F. said...

Oh dear Admiral, sounds like you should start frequenting a better class of establishment, which might be difficult in OC. Next time you're in New York try The Campbell Apartment

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

A.E.F ~ New York, as you well know, would be a step down.

garu said...

Well done, Cod; the only disappointment is that the evening ended without violent incident.

lord brett sinclair said...

oh yes a typical example of confonting the hoi polloi and whereas im often tempted to point out the error of the ways of such creatures i have to content myself with using gentle sarcastic put downs which the dimbats dont recognise as insulting.
do you know in one horredous day i witnessed a cockney oik wearing black shoes with chinos along with a t shirt that can only have been a giveaway with a disney dvd and another clueless chap wearing a tailored suit jacket with jeans; oh dear.
the only appropriate response is to make a mental note of the war crime witnessed, shrug the shoulders with an olympian indifference and move on ; afterall the reason we laugh at such folk is because they cant be changed and epitomise ignorance is bliss; they must be ecstatic then

MGM said...

Ha, yea I can relate. I have memorized Tom Ford's memorable saying that HE had to leave the United Sates because people there just don't appreciate style. When someone like Laguna Beach Fogey shows up in a bar dressed very well, people give him trouble for it. It is indeed a sad, sad time to be alive. In Europe, particulary Itlay, the situation is very different.


I, too, get hassled a lot for my impeccable dress. Sometimes people mistake me for being gay, but, as one of my new friends told me, "I thought you were gay when I first saw you but knew you weren't the second you opened your mouth."

That same friend then asked me why I go to the trouble to dress up and well everyday. I responded, "BECAUSE IT PUTS YOU A STEP ABOVE EVERYONE ELSE."

Michael said...

It is for this reason that i never board an airplane or elevator without a tie. I never meet a client or a capital source without a tie. In some cases to show respect in others to prevoke.

I always reply that i do not wish to appear as though i am stopping by on the way to pick up something at HomeDepot.

Reggie Darling said...

Hilarious!

I have recently been doing a lot of air travel on business. During the past four of five trips, all to an island off the coast of Latin America, I decided that I would take it up a notch, and add a tie to what I usually wear when flying (dress shoes and trousers, formal shirt, blazer), and substitute tailored wool trousers for the off-the-rack kakhis I usually wear when fling to the warmer climates. Needless to say the contrast to what almost all the other passengers was jaw-dropping. I got visibly better service and more solicitous attention, even among the business section where I was sitting.

When I was asked why I was "so dressed up" by the flip-flop/tee shirt/cargo short crowd my response was "Because this is the way I dress, and I like it," and leave it at that. Watching the cretins' work their way through what I might have meant from that was most amusing.

Death Bredon said...

Sounds to me that YOU are the redneck, Seaman Cod.

Main Line Sportsman said...

3 drinks in 15 minutes....a laudable pace!

J. Mitchell said...

Mon Amiral,

When I was an undergrad at a state university in the early 1960s, the professors actually dressed like this. Now, they are a scruffy lot.

http://www.thecultureconcept.com/circle/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Indiana-Jones.jpg

Ian Dundrillon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

better sackcloth with humility than a tailored ego
with bespoke hubris. I will take my tweed advice
elsewhere.

Regimental Stripe said...

Dressing properly is an outward sign of the deep, inner difference between the patrician and the plebeian, the gentleman and the slob.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Reggie ~ You add a dash of class wherever you go, I'm sure.

Death ~ The term redneck is a shaming tactic used by white liberals to shut down debate and to enhance their own status. I'm so over it.

MLS ~ They were Sapphire-and-tonics. I suppose my system is used to them by now.

Ian - Too few of us are willing to speak out, for fear of being seen as ungentlemanly. We need to move beyond it.

Grausig Grantiger Gemahl said...

I'm so with you on that reaction.
Is there sth. prussian in your blood?
3GT and this... You don't seem american;)

La Sombra Sofisticada said...

Well done, ol' chap!

Ivoire said...

@ J. Mitchell:

http://individual.utoronto.ca/somody/quiz.html

Pete said...

Kleider machen die Leute

Anonymous said...

3 drinks in 15 minutes? Even I can do better than that.

Kiki

Anonymous said...

on the subject of tall men . . I was standing at a concert and a very tall man walked in front of me and chose to remain there--but not for long. Even worse, he was wearing a cowboy hat. Without directly addressing him, I looked at the lady beside me and said, "Can you show me a gentleman in this place?" She smiled and said, "I don't think I see one." He turned around and moved and apologized, too. All was forgiven.