18 March 2014

Beach Scenes

I remind myself from time to time how fortunate I am to live in such a place. California may have some problems, but it is still gloriously beautiful country, drawing tourists from all over the world. It also attracts visitors from more local, less glorious places.

I visited one of the state beaches with a girlfriend last weekend. It was only a short drive away. We parked and hiked down one of the steep trails that lead to the water.

We encountered several large females stalled along the track, breathing heavily and clutching the guardrail. We were shocked to see a multitude of extremely fat girls lounging about on the sand like so many beached elephant seals. A few of them looked like giant beach balls with legs the size of barrels. Many of them had tattoos.

My girlfriend and I just looked at each other as if to say: "WTF?" She was shocked at the young age of so many of these girls. I'm afraid the age at which American women choose to 'let themselves go' is getting younger.

I had to avert my eyes. When my ladyfriend noticed me assessing the occasional hottie in a bikini, she said: "Hey!"

"Darling," I replied, "it's important I set my gaze upon more appealing scenery lest I suffer serious retinal damage." Or words to that effect.

She laughed and pretended to punch me in the arm.

Now, it's not all bad.

Near my house in Laguna Beach a cliff juts out into the water. One can get around it only by climbing over large rocks at low tide. Beyond it lie a small stone wading pool and a tower, where, I can reveal here, I have inadvertently stumbled upon erotic photo shoots and ladies sunbathing in the nude.

I trust you can imagine my reaction.

6 comments:

Ordnungssinn said...

I took the wife (then gf) to Fourth of July in Huntington Beach a couple years ago. She was shocked at the weight of the beach goers.

Women who let themselves go, esp younger, married ones should then be let go by their husbands.

A friend's father once advised, "Son, they only get bigger."

NCJack said...

And yet when they offer their pathetic bodies to you, and you refuse, something must be wrong with you. Closet gay, mama-dominated, emotionally retarded, anything but honestly repulsed. They get all this propaganda that their bodies are temples, when abandoned factory is more like it

w. adam mandelbaum esq. said...

There are some cultures that revere fat women. Of course none of them ever had a space program or even a regular schedule for personal hygiene.

Anonymous said...

I think it's because we are at the beach and people tend to wear less clothing that we notice (or have it thrown in our face) how fat a great deal of the women are. I catch myself and try not to be judgmental but there is a very large percentage of women walking up and down the streets that are gross. I wonder what they think when they pass all the women's clothing stores and look at the dresses they could never wear?

Anonymous said...

Yea, In know that area regarding shoots. I grew up off Diamond Street (Crestview). Doesn't help me as I sit adjacent to a Army installation in MD. Bastard.

Jack said...

I too, attempt to avert my eyes, unless it's impossible not to. Man the harpoons!

Cruel thought, but I can't help myself.