I visited one of the state beaches with a girlfriend last weekend. It was only a short drive away. We parked and hiked down one of the steep trails that lead to the water.
We encountered several large females stalled along the track, breathing heavily and clutching the guardrail. We were shocked to see a multitude of extremely fat girls lounging about on the sand like so many beached elephant seals. A few of them looked like giant beach balls with legs the size of barrels. Many of them had tattoos.
My girlfriend and I just looked at each other as if to say: "WTF?" She was shocked at the young age of so many of these girls. I'm afraid the age at which American women choose to 'let themselves go' is getting younger.
"Darling," I replied, "it's important I set my gaze upon more appealing scenery lest I suffer serious retinal damage." Or words to that effect.
She laughed and pretended to punch me in the arm.
Now, it's not all bad.
Near my house in Laguna Beach a cliff juts out into the water. One can get around it only by climbing over large rocks at low tide. Beyond it lie a small stone wading pool and a tower, where, I can reveal here, I have inadvertently stumbled upon erotic photo shoots and ladies sunbathing in the nude.
I trust you can imagine my reaction.