01 November 2014

Fight Night

As you've probably heard, I almost got into another punch-up last night.

The circumstances, as they usually are, were quite silly. While I was ordering cocktails at the bar of a trendy upscale restaurant in Newport Beach with my crew, an older gent sitting next to me contrived to lean over and rub his back against me a few times and then complained loudly that I was standing too close to him. Very odd.

It set me off. I told him repeatedly to fuck off, directed a variety of non-mild epithets at him, and even picked up a small serving plate with which to strike the bastard in the face. That was when he backed off and turned around. My chums, bartenders, and a friendly tattooed couple sitting near us were all visibly relieved. His date looked embarrassed for him.

When he was ready to leave, my adversary came up to me and, offering his hand, apologised for his behaviour. He was drunk. Fair enough. We've all been there. I don't hold grudges.

I've found over the years that in these kinds of situations it pays to be bold and daring, and to not tolerate the petulance of ill-mannered strangers. Still, it amuses me to think how quickly I escalate such encounters, especially when I'm drunk on gin.

14 comments:

Robert said...

Audace, Audace, Tojours Audace!!! As my British friends would say..."Well played old chap"
Was he French? Seemed awfully eager to surrender to you even when the potential battle was long over. A true Gallic trait and habit (surrendering to Germans).

Anonymous said...

Petit anglo-saxon arrogant.. j'aimerais t'avoir en face de moi.

Anonymous said...

Ask the Germans if they surrendered during WW1...

zatara wood said...

reading between the lines you probably were standing too close to him, why were you standing close enough to a seated man at a bar? he probably thought you were trying to molest him, I haven't seen what you look like but you may look like a predatory sexual deviant which concerned him. sounds like he politely tried to draw attention to the fact that you were too close to him, but you seem to have lost the plot and overreacted, perhaps trying to prove your manhood / find some meaning in your life.

from my analysis it sounds like you have made a fool of yourself yet again. writing a post on your blog about it, recounting the incident with pride is just reinforcing how retarded you are.

PS aggression toward old men is not brave or clever .. its in fact the reverse as you are picking on weak targets. I can give you a place to meet me next time you are in London if you want a proper fight .. would be glad to meet you in such a context.

Keir said...

Having lived in China for 8 years, I was all too used to being bold and aggressive. Forgot to tone it down when I revisited some old haunts in Ireland...

Jacobite said...

Some arrogant asshole in a Sausalito watering hole approached me and my date once whilst we were at the bar and rather too loudly complimented me on my choice of such a beautiful female companion. I promptly poured my cocktail over the top of his head in reply.

Anonymous said...

Zatara Wood, it sounds like you had a hard on when you wrote that.

Robert said...

Anonymous...can't stand to use your name eh? Anonymous is probably just a grossly fat, drooling "other than white" troll sitting at his free government computer in the basement of his Section 8 housing project "not doin nuffin" but making what he thinks are intelligent comments while downing one "Thunderbird" after another.
Here's one for you...in WWI (you had to go back a 100 years) Germany NEVER surrendered. They asked for and got a armistice after taking on 20 countries totaling 44 million men UNDER ARMS (the entire population of Germany was 62 million in 1918)for four years..Germany never surrendered to the French though the French would like to claim credit for it as they were still smarting from their defeat in 1870.
The French on the other hand fell in 6 weeks in 1940 and to the Vietminh 1954. Followed by that wonderful French victory in Algeria 1960...
Now days when the French Government speaks only Djibouti listens 'cause no one else cares.
Anonymous one last question. Why are you so concerned about the condition of Zatara's pecker? Do you want to make personal use of it?
Hi Jacobite...good to see you again...you sort of gave that guy your version of "the ice bucket challenge".
Auf Wiedersehen meine freunde.

Anonymous said...

I call dibbs on the small serving plate which nearly met it's death --salad plate I presume. I think you might be improving with age. The key word in your fight story is "almost." You have learned some restraint. I suspect a younger version of yourself would have carried through with that fight using a much larger plate and maybe some crystal!!

Anonymous said...

Lol this post is just silly. Are you sure you don't have some Council House and Violent in you Admiral Cod. Although the salad plate crossed the line, I am so thankful it did not escalate into the degree of the use of a wine decanter or choking using a serviette. You can take the man out of East London but you cannot take the East London out of the man... Ps these comments with fighting words are just silly too...

Anonymous said...

Gin and steroids?

Anonymous said...

Robert.Is that "jalousie"? Please check Verdun, Hastings, Austerlitz, Poitiers, Ulm…Read about France and you will rapidly realised that this country is at the centre of the glorious European and white civilisation. Without them: no Europe.

Anonymous said...

Hi. Pls do not publish my comment about the French etc...it is becoming ridiculous. Thanks

YBH said...

I know how you must have felt when that man invaded your personal space. I frequently steel myself for overzealous douchebags at concerts. Almost stomped on the toes of some Real Housewife of Hollywood who was flipping her hair in my fiance's face.