Black Sails

Passala nave mia con vele nere,
Con vele nere pe'l selvaggio mare.
Ho in petto una ferita di dolore,
Tu ti diverti a farla sanguinare.

There goes my ship with black sails,
With black sails over the wild seas.
My heart is wounded with a wound of pain,
And you love to make it bleed.

Young Fogey: Jacob Rees-Mogg

California Poolside

Young Fogey À La Mode

Polo World Cup 1969

Hermits and Monasteries of Holy Mount Athos

The Road to Oxiana (Robert Byron)

"Hawk-eyed and eagle-beaked, the swarthy loose-knit men swing through the dark bazaar with a devil-may-care self-confidence. They carry rifles to go shopping as Londoners carry umbrellas. Such ferocity is partly histrionic. The rifles may not go off. The physique is not so impressive in the close-fitting uniform of the soldiers. Even the glare of the eyes is often due to make-up. But it is tradition; in a country where the law runs uncertainly, the mere appearance of force is half the battle of ordinary business. It may be an inconvenient tradition, from the point of view of government. But at least it has preserved the people's poise and their belief in themselves. They expect the European to conform to their standards, instead of themselves to his, a fact which came home to me this morning when I tried to buy some arak; there is not a drop of alcohol to be had in the whole town."

The Road to Oxiana, Robert Byron (1937)

Boot Magna Hall

White Bucks Cricket

Alternative Candidate (Bowie)

Charlie Don't Surf !

Abd el Hai: Henri de Monfreid

Books Do Furnish A Bachelor Pad

I collect rare books. Or should I say: I did once, but no longer. It is a solitary pastime, I have long suspected but only recently reluctantly concluded, that renders one unfit for common human company, especially of the long-term female sort, an inference which by the way only confirms those qualities once publicly deduced by the individuals in closest physical proximity to me in my early youth. So be it. Fuck them. And damn them. And God's speed to them if I should ever meet them in a dark mews somewhere. For few modern people here I have discovered over the decades actually read proper books. It is a serious flaw, a widespread civilisational deficiency. Am I the only one here taking notes? Must I kick arse as well?

As a schoolboy at Templer College in the late 1980s I developed a strong interest in the Brideshead Generation, as a portrait by Humphrey Carpenter once succinctly put it, thanks in part to the scholarly Jesuit priests in whom my people placed my adolescent intellectual development and soule for safe-keeping. (God bless the Jesuit fathers for without their influence I would be more of a violent beaste than I am already). I therefore distributed inquiries to rare book agents in London and New York for first editions of works by Waugh, Powell, Green, Byron, et. al., and collected a fair number as a result. Two surviving members are pictured here in this column (above).

My interest naturally followed me to university, where I studied political philosophy and economics, when I was not playing rugby, rowing, drinking, fucking, and fighting. I spent most evenings in the cathedral library cellars, however, reading and re-reading the Brideshead curriculum, amongst other things, before heading out betweeded to the castle ale-hall. In those days of floppy side-parted hair, bitter-stained cords, and thick chestnut brogues, it did not help that one of my favourite drinking chums was a dead-ringer for the actor Jeremy Irons of televisual Brideshead Revisited renown. My imagination was on over-load.

And now on to Anthony Powell. In recent weeks his books have infiltrated my absinthe and codeine-saturated consciousness. I must say, it is a good thing to be able to settle down to a Powell novel in the 'A Dance To the Music of Time' series after a long day doing battle with the Kenneth Widmerpools of the world. The character Widmerpool is a stinking abomination, a modern Grendel in three-piece suit begging for slaughter. Grossly fat, ambitious, corrupt, deviant, pig-like, sharply aware of his core inferiority, leaking rank blood-streaked puss from his very centre, Widmerpool is a slave to fad and youthful rebellion and a socialist traitor to his country wherever he goes. He is modern Western man personified.

As I have discovered, Widmerpools are far more numerous than Powell has led us to believe, I can report, and their suppression requires bigger guns than mere English novelists can muster. It also requires more accurate artillery. Widmerpools over-populate the main centres of influence; indeed you can smell their ancient filth from here. Do you know a Widmerpool? If so, would you be able to point him out in the street to me and my droogs? Do let us know. It is very important.

Anthony Powell's observant yet detached attitude toward his times and contemporaries is entirely appropriate for an artist of his generation. But today, I think, we can ill afford to be so complacent. You have been warned. It is important to be a man of thought and deed, to have the courage to walk right into the sun and to go out like a supernova. We must take action, for the last hours are drawing nigh.

contre le monde moderne

Henry's Clothes: Shoes (Sloane Ranger Style)

Thesiger's Tribe

"Since Thesiger lived much of his life among foreign tribes, it is apposite to examine the nature of the tribe into which he himself was born in 1910. First of all, it was a tribe. The British aristocracy was socially exclusive, highly interbred, and despite being imbued with the ideals of duty, loyalty and service, owed allegiance to itself rather than to an abstract idea of 'Britain'. It might be said that for them, 'Britain' was the aristocracy, irrespective of the fact that they represented only 2 per cent of its population. In 1910 they were still distinguishable physically from the other classes: they were taller, more robust, and possessed a distinctive similarity of physical cast--jutting chins, oriental cheekbones, kedge-like noses, deep-set eyes. They were set apart, too, by the elegance of their attire, for in a world without dry-cleaning only the toff could afford to have his suit unstitched and the parts washed piecemeal."

Thesiger, Michael Asher (1994)

The Duke of Windsor (Video Newsreel Film Link)

Farm Street Church Mayfair

Cruising the Creed Bar

Just last week, you may have heard, I had occasion to visit Neiman Marcus in Newport Beach to procure more Creed fragrance, of which I am a devotee. There are only two reasons to visit NM: Creed and Kiton. To reach the Creed desk one must first pass through the ladies' perfume department. Normally such a detour is not particularly exciting, but it is an entirely different kind of trip when one realises one has dated almost half of the women under 40 working there. Still I soldier on and the accompanying photo (above) shows the rewards of my brief adventure. I purchased the ol' regulars Green Irish Tweed and Royal English Leather. I tried Aventus, the terrific new scent designed by Edwin Creed himself. I strongly recommend it. I have a feeling it will be added to the line-up. I typically do not wear scent to the orifice, where it would have a distracting effect on the female staff, but I do wear Creed at weekend rendezvous. Men's scent, I suspect, is often deployed to camouflage the smell of fear, shame, or dishevelment; in my case I use it to mask lust and contempt. Do you have a favourite fragrance, and if so, which one?

Flag Of My Fathers

Lovecraft: Against the World

“But success and happiness were not to be. Garish daylight showed only squalor and alienage and the noxious elephantiasis of climbing, spreading stone where the moon had hinted of loveliness and elder magic; and the throngs of people that seethed through the flumelike streets were squat, swarthy strangers with hardened faces and narrow eyes, shrewd strangers without dreams and without kinship to the scenes about them, who could never mean aught to a blue-eyed man of the old folk, with the love of fair green lanes and white New England village steeples in his heart.”

He, H.P. Lovecraft (1926)

Barker Black New York

l'idéologie hédoniste

Tweed Solo

Summer Kit

As a columnist I often receive e-mailed requests to post pictures of my summer kit. I tend to hesitate due to privacy concerns, as you can understand, but an occasional glimpse behind the madras curtain should cause no harm. The photograph (at left) represents a typical outfit. The shirt is Lacoste and the boat shoes Sperry Topsiders. The shoes, a gift from a now-departed lady friend, like me, have a dark sole. The shorts, in lobster seersucker, are a special acquisition from J.Crew. In the era of t-shirts, denyme trousers, and flop-flips, summer kit is a provocative uniform, I realise, but I am well-prepared to defend the gesture. Try me. Should you spot me at a local beach margarita shop holding court with my chums, come over and say hello. I will buy you a cocktail, compliment you on your smashing tan, and inquire after your family. I promise not to talk about the stock market. Can you feel the magic? Do not be anxious if at the end of the evening we find ourselves growing closer. The lobsters don't bite, usually.

Might is Right !

Dating an Investment Banker: Where to Find Your Perfect Partner - 12 More Top Firms

The popular Wall Street dating website, Here is the City, has rated a further 12 top financial markets firms in terms of how likely they are to provide single females with their perfect partner. Here is the line-up:

***

Baird

Now these guys are dark horses. Easy to underestimate, you will get sucked in before you realise it. The have a subtle charm and an easy manner. They are also stayers. When they select you as their mate, it's usually for life.

BlackRock

Not the most sophisticated date you'll ever have. Don't expect much by way of romance either. More Wal-Mart than Harrods between the sheets, but at least it's over fairly quickly. They have a good heart, though, and mean well.

BNP Paribas

If you ever wanted proof that not all Frenchmen have smouldering good looks and are AAA-rated in bed, then just date someone from BNP Paribas. Say no more.

Cantor Fitzgerald

These guys have a bad reputation. Yes, he can be hard to handle, and he does enjoy himself with his mates, but he will always come home (even though you might never know where he's actually been). But life will never be dull, and you'll be very well looked after financially.

Houlihan Lokey

If it seems too good to be true, it usually is - but not with these guys. Tall, elegant, and totally at ease with themselves. Real men, who are in touch with their feminine side too - without wanting to dress up in your clothes, which is a bonus (unless you're into that sort of thing, of course).

HSBC

These guys are usually pretty boring, but boring isn't always bad. Remember, boring banks and boring bankers are in vogue these days. You won't have the biggest house in the street, and you won't own the flashiest car, but you'll get by. And if life is dull, well, you can always have a discrete affair.

Macquarie

It's just not true that these guys spend most of their time at work looking at soft porn - that was just one guy, and he did it by accident (and then only once!). The big downside, however, is that not everyone in the factory is a millionaire these days, and a girl might not be looked after as once she might.

Nomura

What you see is what you get with these guys (at least the original Nomura lot). They love life, and overindulge themselves at every opportunity. Everything they do, they do to excess. The problem is, they might not always have time for you.

The ex-Lehman guys are a different lot - they play their cards much closer to their chest, and will be more interested in preening themselves than complimenting you on how you look.

Royal Bank of Canada

These guys are men of integrity. They are upstanding members of the community, who will always treat you with respect. But cheat on them just once (and get caught), and you'll be out. And you'll never find out where the treasure is buried.

Royal Bank of Scotland

Don't be put off by the misconception that only Scottish people work in this firm. No, the Scots were simply those who were responsible for almost bankrupting it. And in any case, not all Scottish people are ginger; some are actually very nice.

Standard Bank

A right cool lot these guys. They were smart enough to get out of all the other firms when the troubles began, and are now sitting pretty in a decent bank going places. The big problem is that they are also clever enough to spot a gold digger at 20 paces.

Wells Fargo

These guys can be as wild as the West, but you wouldn't believe it to look at them. But after a drink, he's anybody's, and that's sometimes hard to live with.

Another Country (1984)

Brooks Brothers Moccasins

As I mentioned in a previous column, my uncle in Connecticut recently sent me a series of packages containing books, clothing, and other items that had accumulated in his house since the 1980s. These shoes were amongst the cargo. A pair of size 12D Brooks Brothers loafers made in the USA, they are at least 15+ years old. I bought them at either a Manhattan or Stamford, CT store; I barely remember them. In any event I am sure they will feel right at home in my collection. The thick white stitching and supple tan leather lend them a distinctly casual, Adirondack feel. I certainly look forward to taking them out for their California debut. Can you proffer a guess as to which US manufacturer made them? Yours is as good as mine.

The English Gentleman: Good Tailors

Good Tailors

Gentlemen may wear their suits until they are threadbare but they do so with considerable panache and it is evident to the most uncritical eye that they have been built by a good tailor. As one gentleman remarked about the members of a club which he considered socially inferior to his own, 'They are quite a decent lot of chaps. It is only a pity that they all seem to make their own trousers...'

There are, too, certain little touches to the way a gentleman dresses which sets him apart from the less socially elevated. For example, the flaps on his jacket pockets are always tucked into the pocket itself and he always wears the bottom button of his waistcoat undone. This latter idiosyncracy has its origins in the days when Edward VII was the leader of Society. Nicknamed 'Tum-Tum' because of his great bulk he always has difficult in doing up the bottom button and when eventually he gave up trying, other gentlemen politely followed suit.

The Sports Jacket

No gentleman ever has a garment which is popularly called a sports jacket. Nor does he ever wear a blazer with a badge on the pocket. The only exception to gentlemen not wearing blazers is at Henley when they turn out in creations they have had since their rowing days and which would make a stage comedian look ridiculous.

His Shoes

A gentleman always has well-polished shoes which are generally hand-made and last a lifetime. They are polished with ox-blood which is a similar eccentricity to washing his riding breeches in urine. On less formal occasions he wears gum boots which are usually green and have a little strap to tighten them below the knee.

The English Gentleman, Douglas Sutherland (1978)