15 April 2010

Various Affairs

You should not laugh when I tell you I receive hand-written notes from chaps and ladies seeking my views on various topics. What they must be thinking, I have no idea. Despite what you read in the papers, I am not in the business of providing advice. I am the absolute last person to weigh in on serious matters. It is a situation I avoid at all cost. Dullness, of course, is a cardinal sin. If I am attending a garden party in a khaki suit and madras tie and a dripping hot brunette asks my opinion on, say, interior design or the sexual habits of celebrities, I quickly change the subject and offer to show her the unique orbital patterns of the inner moons of Saturn. No, my advice is limited to money, as you know, and it is quite simple: Save it. There is more to life than buying and selling widgets. Find the courage to resist consumerist temptations. Shun the merchants and moneychangers. Live your life according to the higher sartorial principles. But if you must, then spend your money on basic necessities, such as beautiful women, fine food, rare imported wines, tailored suits, exotic holidays, and bespoke shoes from London. There is no shame in living within your budget, especially if it is the size of a small Central African country.

6 comments:

Belle de Ville said...

Excuse me....one should also spend on fine estate jewelry because in hard times one can sell it and cash out or hold it until all hell breaks out. One can also wear it or leave it to one's heirs. Try doing that with bespoke shoes.
Other than that...I with you on our culture of rampant comsumerism.

Des Esseintes said...

Wasn't it Oscar Wlde who said "Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination"?

Everything else in your post I agree with.

dE

Lisa said...

Hear hear, Belle! Every other day, my daughter comments on how when she is a grownup, she'll get to wear my jewelry. I love buying pieces that I can pass down to her.

Anonymous said...

I prefer to live within the budget of my creditors.

Ian from Downunder said...

I agree with your advice, which was, if I may say so, uncharacteristically modest. I sent your piece to a few friends only to be admonished by one who said 'I should be my own man'. Fact is, I'd rather your lifestyle than mine. There's a robusto or two and some Laphroig at my wee bothy if you're ever in Melbourne!!

WerewolfinExile said...

I'll raise a glass to those pearls of wisdom. Really one the best posts I have read in a long while. I'd throw booze in for good measure, but otherwise, methinks you nailed it.