Whoring at Whole Foods

In an exclusive report, I'd like to reveal to you one of my favourite hunting grounds for meeting new ladies: Whole Foods Market (WF). I usually frequent the location near me in Laguna Beach (at left). Last year a new store opened in Newport Beach. I've spent considerable time since then prowling the aisles in search of new meat. And by new meat I don't refer only to chemical-free bacon or organic grass-fed ribeye steaks. If you're looking to meet young women, I strongly recommend this place. The following are some reasons I do so.

Hotties

The girls who shop there are likely to be hotter than average. Hot girls take care of themselves and eat healthy organic foods. They are into yoga, pilates, CrossFit, BuffyShot, and other esoteric hot chick practices. Hot girls are more likely to have high-paying jobs and therefore are more able and willing to pay more for good, well-prepared foods. The girls shopping there are also likely to be single. If you stop by after work, say, between 6:00pm and 8:00pm, you will observe the single career girls buying prepared meals to take home. For those interested in these demographics, hot MILFs and cougars are also known to patrol these waters. The latter are a bit more aggressive than their younger sisters. I've been approached and chatted up many times by interested females, so much so that it didn't take me long to connect the dots. WF is proving to be a prime hunting ground. Need I say more?

Hipsters

On the upside, you're not likely to have much competition. WF is often frequented by hipsters and beta males: skinny, nerdy, pale men wearing lumberjack clothing, chinos or cheap suits. Many of them appear startlingly young, almost effeminate. Others are chubby and well-fed in their Dockers. Often these beta-boys work at local corporations and show up in groups at lunch time to peruse the buffet stands. As a fogey stud disguised as a member of the professional classes, in undercover mode, you have an advantage. With competition like this, hunting WF is like shooting fish in a barrel. Go for it.

Connected to this is the fact that sub-hominid males of the lower humanoid species are unlikely to shop at WF, as few if any can afford it. The ghetto tones and chimpouts that would ordinarily result from their presence in, say, a sports bar or nightclub, are minimized here.

WF provides a civilised environment in which to hold a decent conversation and deploy your pussy-pleasing banter to your frozen heart's content.

Props

One of the advantages of WF is the presence of numerous interesting props. Use these items as an excuse around which to construct a conversation. The prepared food tables are a good place to start. Ask the ladies about the quality of, say, the roasted peppers or sautéed kale. The meat section is also a suitable area offering plenty of opportunities to discuss the differences between organic vs. grass fed. My favourite spot at the moment is the nut section, where one can talk about sprouted almonds. Careful, though: hippies and bolshevik-leaning chicks tend to gravitate towards this area.

Keep in mind, as a man shopping at WF you are perceived as part of an elite class. It is, after all, a place where White People Like To Shop. It demonstrates your financial ability and willingness to buy expensive food items and an interest in healthy-eating and nutrition. Hot girls like that. These reasons alone would suffice to make WF a prime pick-up environment for the aspiring stud. Take note.