Whenever I hear the words holiday sales I reach not for my pistol, but for a stout walking stick with which to prod the up-to-no-gooder in the chest. There is more to this than buying and selling. Wouldn’t you agree?
The one Christmas scene guaranteed to upset my natural fogey rhythm is that of a domesticated male following the lady out shopping, arms likely as not carrying various bags and parcels, a beaten look on his face. Poor guy. He represents what is wrong with modern men. The wretchedness of it all is enough to drive one to action. I want to grab the pathetic sod by the medium lapels of his Tweed jacket, shake him about a bit, and yell: “Wake up and grow a large pair, man!”
It is claimed by betweeded psychonauts that Americans are a uniquely materialistic people. I think it is true, but only up to a point. Because surely there is more going on than mere appreciation of objects for themselves alone; no, there is a certain psychology at play. In this most competitive of markets acquisitiveness is a form of status-seeking and certain brands are clear status markers. In this context it is the process or spectacle that matters, not the concrete thing itself, which may partly explain why Americans produce little of permanent worth.
A kind of religion prevails to a degree absent, I think, in other developed Western countries, and even here I think it is the public act of going to church that is significant, not the doctrine itself, which in any case is rarely observed with anything resembling traditional piety. People function according to patterns created by outlandish myths and outright lies, particularly those surrounding their fellow human beings and the future. They live according to fantasies sustained by unremitting propaganda directly suggestive of Soviet media machine. It is a fantasy world. It is a great 'No-saying' to life, a denial or rejection of reality and of human nature.
Where are the world-renowned shoemakers as found in Britain and Europe? Where are the bespoke tailors for which places such as Jermyn Street and Savile Row are famous? Where are the things of value? They do not exist here and never have done. Which is why I remain sceptical about this specific critique.
Holiday shopping means open season on unwitting consumers. It is like shooting a row of ducks in a very small pond. The common peoples of Western countries have been reduced after decades of conditioning to deracinated, cultureless beings, atomised consumer units, giant digestive bags, spiritually and psychologically helpless before the onslaught of the capitalist predator. The holidays are the product of manipulation of the volk traditions of a subject captive population. Consumerism is a false faith. What we face is a crisis of the spirit. We are in a spiritual war. Choose your mindweapon.
I repeat: “Wake up and grow a large pair, man!” Be a thug--not a gentleman. The cult of the gentleman, a product of late-stage Christianity undergoing fatal process of de-Teutonification, was designed by little twerps to weaken and control stronger chaps. Today, in the darkening hour of the crisis of impending immolations, what we need are fewer tubby gents clutching Bibles and more virile Dandies wielding AK-47s, sturdy stylish thugs living the archaic values. And ready to do whatever it takes, as it were. For the serious case--the Ernstfall--soon will demand it.
15 December 2010
14 December 2010
13 December 2010
12 December 2010
11 December 2010
The Scotsman on Cufflinks
"Given the superior comfort and convenience afforded by the humble button, the continued survival of the cufflink is hard to fathom, but perhaps the natural world can provide us with an explanation.
In some species of birds - the peacock, for example - males with larger, more ornate tailfeathers seem able to attract mates more successfully than their less spectacular rivals. Could cufflinks perform a similar function in the human world? If so, gents looking to mate are advised to purchase the biggest, flashiest, pair they can find."
The Scotsman, 28 November 2010
In some species of birds - the peacock, for example - males with larger, more ornate tailfeathers seem able to attract mates more successfully than their less spectacular rivals. Could cufflinks perform a similar function in the human world? If so, gents looking to mate are advised to purchase the biggest, flashiest, pair they can find."
The Scotsman, 28 November 2010
10 December 2010
09 December 2010
Weejun is the Reason for the Season
(i) Christmas parties. Holiday luncheons. Drunken cocktail receptions where one hits on the waitresses, upsets the potted palms, picks fights with burly petulant fellows, is detained by the city constabulary, and wrecks the silver Benz in a near-ball of fire on Pacific Coast Highway. These are some of the things my recent Christmas seasons are made of.
Crikey! So I must be awfully lucky still to receive invitations to such soirées, especially considering some of the antics I have carried out over the years. Of course I have attempted to modify my behaviour--with mixed results, I must tell you. But so far so good. This year.
(ii) In contrast to my demeanour, you might be curious to know, I tend to keep my Christmas kit somewhat low-key. The candid photographic image (above) depicts a pair of classic Weejun loafers, J.Crew socks in delicious peppermint or pistachio green colour, and Land's End flat-front khakis. On top: Brooks Brothers blue OCBD and Hickey Freeman sport coat in Tweed. The green socks, I like to think, provide a flashy touch.
(iii) Christmas luncheons. If I am not quite a social butterfly at these events, then at least I am a social hawk of sorts. I make the rounds thus:
"Hullo Gavin, so nice to see you old boy. We must meet for drinks one of these days..."
"Merry Christmas, my dear, you are an absolute vision in Pucci..."
"Now look here, Chadwick. You said you were going to get your Uncle Dunstan committed. I just caught him molesting one of the hounds in the back garden again..."
(iv) Do you have a natural smile that clings to your face like a crusted-over mole? I do not; I have a frown. Well, perhaps not so much a frown as a natural "I'm going to fucking kick your fucking arse from here to Calcutta right before I turn you in to the Schutzstaffel!" sort of look that often leads to unintended reactions in others. Can you blame them?
So when I am at these events it is somewhat of an effort initially to remember to smile. It is not so difficult, however, when I remind myself that I do feel genuine affection for the ladies and chaps with whom I spend the evening, because, as you well know, if I am about anything I am about love. And as usual, I manage magnificently.
Crikey! So I must be awfully lucky still to receive invitations to such soirées, especially considering some of the antics I have carried out over the years. Of course I have attempted to modify my behaviour--with mixed results, I must tell you. But so far so good. This year.
(ii) In contrast to my demeanour, you might be curious to know, I tend to keep my Christmas kit somewhat low-key. The candid photographic image (above) depicts a pair of classic Weejun loafers, J.Crew socks in delicious peppermint or pistachio green colour, and Land's End flat-front khakis. On top: Brooks Brothers blue OCBD and Hickey Freeman sport coat in Tweed. The green socks, I like to think, provide a flashy touch.
(iii) Christmas luncheons. If I am not quite a social butterfly at these events, then at least I am a social hawk of sorts. I make the rounds thus:
"Hullo Gavin, so nice to see you old boy. We must meet for drinks one of these days..."
"Merry Christmas, my dear, you are an absolute vision in Pucci..."
"Now look here, Chadwick. You said you were going to get your Uncle Dunstan committed. I just caught him molesting one of the hounds in the back garden again..."
(iv) Do you have a natural smile that clings to your face like a crusted-over mole? I do not; I have a frown. Well, perhaps not so much a frown as a natural "I'm going to fucking kick your fucking arse from here to Calcutta right before I turn you in to the Schutzstaffel!" sort of look that often leads to unintended reactions in others. Can you blame them?
So when I am at these events it is somewhat of an effort initially to remember to smile. It is not so difficult, however, when I remind myself that I do feel genuine affection for the ladies and chaps with whom I spend the evening, because, as you well know, if I am about anything I am about love. And as usual, I manage magnificently.
08 December 2010
07 December 2010
Knut Hamsun Style
Now this is more like it. This is my favourite portrait of Knut Hamsun (1859-1952), the Norwegian writer, in the fine art collection at Schloss von AC. Some of his novels include Hunger, Mysteries, and Pan. In 1920 Hamsun won the Nobel Prize for Growth of the Soil. The American writer Ernest Hemingway claimed Hamsun as a major influence on his own writing. Hamsun's books until recently were suppressed for partisan reasons by repressive postwar governments. Only now are young people in Europe and North America beginning to seek out marginalised Western artists such as Hamsun. It is a healthy process of rediscovery and self-knowledge and one we should encourage. In the photo (at left) note Hamsun's pin-striped three-piece suit with peak lapels in a deep charcoal flannel, white shirt, black polka-dot neck tie, and white pocket square. See, too, his sensibly short haircut and moderate sideburns. Moustache optional. A classic ensemble for chaps young or old, philistine or literary. A clean, elegant look for civilised gents.
05 December 2010
Prussian Prototype
All manly peoples today have a bad name; the Prussians are the prototype. In the interregnum, however, it is not mothers but hermaphrodites who prevail.
Alle männlichen Völker sind heut in Verruf; die Preußen sind der Prototyp. Im Interregnum sind aber nicht die Mütter, sondern die Zwitter maßgebend.
Ernst Jünger, Ernst Jünger – Carl Schmitt: Briefe 1930-1983 (1999)
Alle männlichen Völker sind heut in Verruf; die Preußen sind der Prototyp. Im Interregnum sind aber nicht die Mütter, sondern die Zwitter maßgebend.
Ernst Jünger, Ernst Jünger – Carl Schmitt: Briefe 1930-1983 (1999)
04 December 2010
03 December 2010
Haslam on Cufflinks
"And I hate cufflinks. I think they're very ageing. And also, cufflinks were meant for when the cuffs of the shirt were stiff, and you couldn't do up the buttons; for evening wear. You should never wear cufflinks in the day time. It looks terrible."
Nicky Haslam, The Observer, Sunday 11 May 2008
Nicky Haslam, The Observer, Sunday 11 May 2008
02 December 2010
More Thugs, Fewer Gentlemen (1)
I don’t do holidays. I mean, I despise and avoid them to the extent I can. Holidays are to moi as honesty is to politicians. Do you understand? Part of the reason is historical. My waking hours are still aggravated on seasonal basis by memories of Christmas social gatherings that even at this late hour I labour to suppress. If that is the case—and it is—bring on more whisky.
LBF: Ah, here we go. We need more ice. Thank you, Ruggles.
Ruggles: Not at all, sir.
Okay then. Shall we continue?
Christmas in Greenwich. It is cold and snowing. December evenings at large houses with circular driveways on North Street and Lake Avenue (convenient for squash at Field Club). Neo-Classical columns and Christmas wreaths. A shaggy-haired boy from Brunswick takes your keys and parks your Benz on the far lawn. Standing outside the front door is an off-duty Greenwich cop, a big shaven-headed Italian guy from Chickahominy, hired as security for the night.
Inside, lugubrious Wall Street dullards, Ivy League assholes, exuding puffiness in Tweed jacket, Shetland sweater, and khakis, discussing college football and the latest QB at Yale. Your reaction? Big fucking deal. Delicate Ben Silver tortoiseshell-rimmed spectacles steamed from the heat. Furtive alcoholics in weekend tartan from Orvis. Latest gossip? Balding prep caught banging Asian chick against bathroom wall at One Chase Manhattan Plaza. Like so many American males they remain forever boyish; in behaviour and outlook as well as anatomical feature, stunted.
Now let’s turn our attention to the girls. All-American Bitches raised on Daddy’s money and birthday trips to Paris and Turks & Caicos. Bloated Greenwich princesses with jellyfish features slivering with glee over their latest boyfriend and the Christmas sales in New York. “We’re taking the train in tomorrow and hitting the sales!” Episcopalian from Greenwich Academy, devout but plain, rebellious slut with daddy issues, dating ugly black from Brooklyn. Thick, round-faced blonde in big sweater, capris, and Birkenstocks studying ecology at University of Montana after freshman year at Trinity.
But I’m getting carried away with myself. I haven’t even mentioned the young All-American Douchebags, of the kind only a blend of American pop culture and higher education can produce, muttering annoyingly boastful quarter-truths about academic performance and career prospects.
Nor have I discussed in detail the ageing preppy matriarchs, whose passions are channeled into dogs, crafts, and Christianity of the low church Protestant variety. Don’t even get me started on these fine ladies. Can I get an amen? Hallelujah, bitchez!
LBF: Ah, here we go. We need more ice. Thank you, Ruggles.
Ruggles: Not at all, sir.
Okay then. Shall we continue?
Christmas in Greenwich. It is cold and snowing. December evenings at large houses with circular driveways on North Street and Lake Avenue (convenient for squash at Field Club). Neo-Classical columns and Christmas wreaths. A shaggy-haired boy from Brunswick takes your keys and parks your Benz on the far lawn. Standing outside the front door is an off-duty Greenwich cop, a big shaven-headed Italian guy from Chickahominy, hired as security for the night.
Inside, lugubrious Wall Street dullards, Ivy League assholes, exuding puffiness in Tweed jacket, Shetland sweater, and khakis, discussing college football and the latest QB at Yale. Your reaction? Big fucking deal. Delicate Ben Silver tortoiseshell-rimmed spectacles steamed from the heat. Furtive alcoholics in weekend tartan from Orvis. Latest gossip? Balding prep caught banging Asian chick against bathroom wall at One Chase Manhattan Plaza. Like so many American males they remain forever boyish; in behaviour and outlook as well as anatomical feature, stunted.
Now let’s turn our attention to the girls. All-American Bitches raised on Daddy’s money and birthday trips to Paris and Turks & Caicos. Bloated Greenwich princesses with jellyfish features slivering with glee over their latest boyfriend and the Christmas sales in New York. “We’re taking the train in tomorrow and hitting the sales!” Episcopalian from Greenwich Academy, devout but plain, rebellious slut with daddy issues, dating ugly black from Brooklyn. Thick, round-faced blonde in big sweater, capris, and Birkenstocks studying ecology at University of Montana after freshman year at Trinity.
But I’m getting carried away with myself. I haven’t even mentioned the young All-American Douchebags, of the kind only a blend of American pop culture and higher education can produce, muttering annoyingly boastful quarter-truths about academic performance and career prospects.
Nor have I discussed in detail the ageing preppy matriarchs, whose passions are channeled into dogs, crafts, and Christianity of the low church Protestant variety. Don’t even get me started on these fine ladies. Can I get an amen? Hallelujah, bitchez!
Labels:
Admiral Cod
01 December 2010
Barbour Liddesdale
Can you ever consider yourself truly well kitted out without a Barbour quilted jacket in your collection? I reply in the negative, with a friendly smile and sparkle in my ocean-blue eyes of course. The last several days here in the coastal foothills of Southern California have been remarkably cold. The other morning I noticed frost on the local lawn-bowling pitches. And I swear I saw the resident neighbourhood hawks shivering atop their lightpole perches. Even the local surf hotties have taken to wearing ski jackets and scarves, which I consider a genuine sign of distress requiring immediate emergency action. So in order to ward off the Yukon cold, and to replace my ragged old number, I recently ordered a new Barbour Liddesdale coat in the traditional olive colour I call Bavarian Green Circa 1918. It is smart, sleek, and slim-fitting and yet roomy enough to allow for thick OCBD or sweater. The unique Barbour Liddesdale shoulder and arm mechanism, I can report, is calibrated just so that one experiences minimal fabric stress while reaching for the next whisky and soda, or the latest copy of The Spectator imported from England.
Labels:
Admiral Cod,
Style
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)























