18 December 2010

Dresscode UBS: Swiss Banker Style

• "A flawless appearance can bring inner peace and a sense of security."

• "Adopting impeccable behavior extends to impeccable presentation."

• "The garment is a critical form of non-verbal communication."

• "Jacket buttons should be closed. When seated, they must always be open."

• "Only when it is very hot, and after confirmation of your supervisor, can you wear the shirt without a jacket."

• "While blazers are equipped with pockets, they were not designed to contain a large number of personal effects or accessories. Leave these empty, so they do not deform."

• "The jacket should be closed when you stand or you're traveling."

• "The shoulders should have natural proportions: if the shoulders are too broad you will appear too big with a too-small head."

• "Conversely, too narrow shoulders could make your head look excessively large."

• "The jacket must completely cover your posterior."

• "Eyewear can only be in a subdued color range."

• "Ultra-trendy eyewear or too showy colored glasses are not tolerated. Ultra-hip glasses or lenses in gaudy colors are not allowed."

• "Make sure that your jewelry be matched to the metallic color of your frames."

• "Sunglasses cannot be worn on top of the head."

• "A scent should at first be perceptible at a distance - an arm's length - but should be discreet."

• "If you like wearing perfume or after-shave, remember, the scent of a perfume is more pleasant than being invaded by a fragrant cloud."

• "Try a new fragrance during your lunch break

• "Stop wearing bracelets and earrings."

• "Piercings, besides earrings, and tattoos are prohibited. Tattoos, piercings or anklets are outdated and do not look professional."

• "You can wear a watch to the extent it does not threaten safety."

• "Out of consideration for our foreign customers, avoid conspicuous religious symbols."

• "Factors that lead to the pollution of the skin are many. Since our skin is basically our 'first" garment, it requires care too."

• "We recommend protecting skin by applying a skin cream that consists of nourishing and soothing elements. Thus, your skin will appear beautiful and you will be radiant!"

• "If you wear a watch, it suggests reliability and that punctuality is of great concern to you."

• "An appropriate remedy to prolong the life of shoes is to replace heels early."

• "Always put on your shoes with the help of a shoehorn."

• "Completely unlace your shoes after use."

• "After having worn a pair of shoes, allow your shoes at least one day, so let the leather dry out and rest."

• "Each time you remove your suit, untie your tie and hang or wrap it."

• "Give your tie at least one rest day before reuse."

• "The tip of your tie should under no circumstances enter your pants." [I hate it when that happens - AC]

• "Underwear is among the most intimate parts of our clothing."

• "Your underwear must not be visible through your clothes, or stand out."

• "Your figure should not suffer from the way you wear your underwear."

• "Do not wash, nor ever iron your shirts yourself."

Sources: UBS and Business Insider

14 comments:

Reggie Darling said...

Pretty good advice, as far as I'm concerned. What's all the fuss about? Most cretins don't know how to dress these days, so I'm not surprised that UBS felt compelled to come out with these guidelines. You should see some of the slobs walking around the offices of the Investment Bank that I work in on Park Avenue here in NY. Jaw dropping, really, and not in a good way I might add...

James said...

The government agency I retired from came out with the opposite dress code ( which I ignored). They felt that managers dressing well tended to intimidate employees and set up a division between management and labour. No shit.

Sophie said...

I wish for a dress code in my office. Generally, the women dress with far too much flesh on display and the men as if they are unemployed or manual laborers. I enjoy bucking the tend for dressing down and ignore the comments about being too conservative.

Alan said...

Why not just have uniforms if that is the culture (or lack thereof)?

Belle de Ville said...

I find this to be excellent advice. This is how you dress if you want to show a look of professionalism and competence and instill confidence in your clients.
I agree with Reggie, there are too many slobs in the banking community and elsewhere. (people of walmart, need I say more)
But...the Swiss bankers that I have met in Switzerland, didn't dress that well. In fact, my husband was Swiss gnome money manager at Bank Leu in Zurich in the 1970's,and he didn't dress that well!

Hilton said...

"Employees must drink like a Swiss."

A.E.F. said...

Admiral,
Oh.
My.
God.
Who the hell are they employing? Kindergartners? Floridian pensioners?

Ford said...

Great post admiral. My favorite:

"Your figure should not suffer from the way you wear your underwear."

Oh how I could go on and on about this one.

Trailer Trad said...

Really good guidance. Pass it along to graduating students or to job changers.

Traditionally Styled said...

Great list. I must admit I do not unlace my shoes after every use and I do launder my own shirts (laundering and ironing properly is what takes a little practice).

Anonymous said...

Splendid public information stuff, Cod, keep it up.

The Bishop.

John Wesley said...

Response to the following item:

• "Jacket buttons should be closed. When seated, they must always be open."

Surely "Jacket buttons" should be singular.
Only the center button of a 3-button jacket, and the top button of a 2-button jacket should be closed.

--JW

John said...

The sad thing here is not the advice. It is sad that it is necessary.

initials CG said...

And for God's sake gentlemen, lose the black, retro mod squad suit!

Charcoal gray, if you must.