26 January 2012

Monk Shoe Dissonance

As you know, I've taken to wearing my pair of Alfred Sargent monk shoes (not pictured at left) with great frequency. They are formal enough in a low-key, classic style, whilst retaining a bit of edge. I'm saddened to report, however, that in recent weeks they have developed an irritating squeaking sound--like a group of mice in a juice press in the next room--whenever I stroll about the office in my usual chalant manner. Careful analysis has failed to discover the cause. I'm considering greasing them with a mixture of extra virgin olive oil, Veuve Clicquot, and essence of ovulating 18-year old hottie. But I'm open to other suggestions. Have you any?

9 comments:

White Horse said...

Never had a pair of monk strap shoes. I'd take them to a professional. Your solution, however, is a bit more appealing. There is likely some rubbing occurring (perhaps the insole, or tongue) which is helping to advertise your presence. Good luck!

Stockton Andrews II said...

I predict that the title of this post will soon turn up as either the name of an improvisational off Broadway show or an obsessively focused Japanese Trad menswear shop.

Tabitha said...

I have Louboutins that do that.
I wonder, would I get away with entertaining an 18 year old hottie? Thought not. But then again, adolescent males, phew, best aged for 20 years.

The Dandy Man Can said...

The same is happening to my pair of Oxfords by Church's. I was indiscreetly shuffling along in the office yesterday as not to draw to much attention to the noise. I failed miserably. I shall keep you posted if I find a cure! Great post yesterday by the way also!

Anonymous said...

http://www.realsimple.com/magazine-more/inside-magazine/ask-real-simple/ask-real-simple-prevent-squeaky-shoes-00000000007026/index.html

Dominion of Canada said...

Take them to a cobbler. I had a pair of squeaky shoes, and as with anonymous' suggestion, the shank was loose. A few nails hammered into the soles stopped the problem.

Todd Rehm said...

Try some baby powder in the shoes. Often that will do the trick. Not a ton, just a bit.

Bow Ties said...

I have that monk shoe too. But I'm not using it cause you know, there are lots of bad reviews and as a owner I noticed that too. Thanks for tips anyway.

Anonymous said...

An irritating sqeaking sound--someone gave my daughters some shoes that sqeaked on purpose. The idea was supposedly you could keep up with your children. Well, it doesn't quite work that well in a library (unplanned visit). With all of the quiet, the sound they made just seemed to be compounded.