New Year's Resolutions 2011 (Part 2)

(7) Attend the Royal Wedding in April ~ You saw your first in 1981, albeit on television. It's time to make a personal appearance. You're likely to be on the guest list. But just in case there's been a terrible mistake, tell Ruggles to book your plans immediately. This one might be difficult to satisfy, in light of work commitments.

(8) Be open to love ~ It is not sufficient just to hate. It is necessary also to love.

(9) Take a holiday or two ~ Vienna is calling. London and Munich burn holes in your memory. The surf off Lahaina whispers your name. The US is an insane asylum, as you keep reminding yourself, so escaping even for a few days can help restore one's mental health and perspective on reality. Doctor's orders.

(10) Let your hair grow ~ Let's face it. A weekly haircut is unnecessary, unless you actually enjoy being mistaken for a cop, US Marine, or Russian gangster. And don't fret: you're not going bald. You're not even close. But if and when you do, you'll have a perfectly valid excuse to adopt the skinhead look, badass fogey-style. Something to look forward to.

(11) Make an effort to smile more ~ Let your natural charm shine through. You've got loads of it, so why not flaunt it? While you know you're a complete and utter bastard with a totally unserious outlook on life, everyone else still thinks you're a perfect gentleman, a friendly chap-for-all-seasons, "the man who has everything," the last of a rare breed. Don't wreck their illusions. Keep playing the game. It will pay off eventually.

(12) Do not succumb to despair ~ Accept things as they are. Know your purpose and be resigned to your fate, but also know it demands a specific code of action according to the sub-Dionysian rites. There is no other way. Be patient. This is the end-game of the Kali Yuga. Stand tall in the Sun-Wind. Life will prevail again.