Do you have an evening routine? I do. After a night patrolling the cocktail receptions that I am expected to attend, and where I shower grace and charm on fellow attendees like the U.S. government grants bail-outs to investment banks, I look forward to coming home and settling in with a cup of Earl Grey tea, Tweed jacket, Flashman novel, and Royal Albert house shoes in black velvet from Edward Green. The actual shoes are shown at left; note scarlet lining, chisel toe, and, to commemorate my current abode, a bespoke design on vamp featuring a pair of rampant California cougars engaged in a cat-fight. Rawwrrr! A word of warning: if you decide to wear these, do make sure to trim the nails on your toes lest they puncture the delicate lining from the inside. If you are a gentleman you will have already trimmed them like a good boy. But if you are not a gentleman (like me) you will have been forced to apply the shears only at the angry insistence of your hot Italian girlfriend or mistress whose skin you have badly scratched after a session of aggressive love-making, during which the expensive bedsheets were also probably torn to shreds. So make certain you are well-groomed: not just for the sake of your current love affair, but more importantly for the health and longevity of your Edward Green Royal Albert black velvet house shoes.