19 January 2011

Tea for the End Times

As you know, astrology is not my strong point. But when Jupiter enters Aries and Mercury squares the retrograde station of Saturn, even I start worrying. And that's saying something. With that in mind I ask you to consider a project undertaken a few months ago in response to public events of a most distressing nature. The gut-felt prospect of impending emergencies, otherwise known as when the SHTF, has encouraged me to increase my tea supplies as back-up in the event of logistical disruptions. I have taken the tea ritual since I was a younger chap, as I have explained elsewhere, and a daily gallon or two of brown joy keeps the motor running, as they say, in Tweed, with a Polo mint chaser. It's practically indispensable. An army marches on its stomach; a betweeded fogey relies on his tea. Today, the ancient tea cellars at Schloss von AC are positively bursting with barrels of Twining's and old casks of vintage PG Tips. Just in case. So fear not. The celestial tea gardens radiate an unwavering light of beauty, goodness, and truth, glowing deep within our spirit, to guide us home. Have you made the necessary preparations?

11 comments:

Silk Regimental said...

Yes, I'm stocking up on bourbon! ;)

Reggie Darling said...

I have a lot of tea, some of it so old that if it were a boy it would be shaving by now. On the other hand, no matter how much gin I buy, I find I need to buy still more in only a day or two...

Anonymous said...

John Fowles' description of tea deserves repetition:

"The immemorial English answer to all the major crises of existence"

A.E.F. said...

Admiral, there are few staples in my larder but always a sturdy wall of ground coffee bricks. An essential and unmissable morning cup of coffee alerts me to goodness and light, taken with a spoonful of sugar for sweetness.

Main Line Sportsman said...

So you are hoarding tea in anticipation of some cataclysmic event in the near future? Some inside info we should know about?

Inimitable Phillips said...

Twinings, Hendricks, Single Malt, the Owl Shop's Elm Park Mixture and I, for one, am prepared to pull down the hatch....

Tabitha said...

My dearest AC, I would never ever let you run out of tea.

Astrology, hmm, yes i can't imagine you ever being at home down/up in Venice Beach - that place gives me the heebie jeebies but anyway I'm putting my money on calling you an Aries. An Aryan too but that's for another comment.
Have I won a goldfish?

Simon said...

Am laying in supplies of Yorkshire Tea tomorrow morning.
The workmen are drinking it like it's the end of the world.

Anonymous said...

I'd have said it was time for whisky and a revolver in the library. Bear up old fellow. Adieu.

J Geste.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Tabs ~ I'm a William, not an 'Arry.

Robert Webber said...

Agree tea -in my case Earl Grey- and coffee beans of cataclysmic strength - are essentials.
But I get to my last mug of each before I buy!
Stock piling causes shortages and involves living in more than the present!
Best Wishes
Robert