05 October 2011

Clip and Shave: A Short and Tidy Treatise on Grooming

Ted's Grooming Room, London
I can't stress enough the importance of being well-groomed. That means short and tidy hair. Keep facial hair to a minimum. And clip what needs to be clipped on a regular basis. Keep sideburns at a moderate length, unless you want to look like a damned hippy in which case you shouldn't even be here. As you know, I prefer very short hair and get mine cut every 2 to 3 weeks. This is one reason, I think, that I am frequently asked if I am a soldier or Russian gangster. Like a good fuck or work-out, getting a haircut can be an invigorating process. A haircut is a sloughing off of the old. It is a new beginning, a starting-over. It can be a mood-altering event. If you're feeling down, visit the barber. You'll find men who take care of themselves in this manner make better, more attentive lovers. Long hair, of course, leads to impotence and unemployment. Avoid it.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unlike a good fuck, however, a haircut does not need to be paid for until satisfaction has been achieved.

NJS said...

I dscovered that 'er indoors (who is a barrister and not a barber) can cut hair very well and she has cut mine for quite some time now. When I asked her how she acquired the skill (which is economical with the shears, as all good barbers are), she said that, given the number of times that she has been to the hairdressers, it would have been impossible not to have learned what they do!

Chelsea Whitard said...

http://theordinarypolitical.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/harry-truman-picture.jpg

Anonymous said...

None of my mates from high school have short cropped hair. It's all about the flick at the back.. I went to Marlborough.

Anonymous said...

Hah! I like this post. You're correct on all points!

Regards,

J.W. Black

Grausig Grantiger Gemahl said...

My barber shop calls it the HJ-cut(if you do not know what it stands for I will not explain, but you Admiral, you prbly do know:-) ).
The only thing that was good about WW II he said (and even though I am from Germany I agree) were the haircuts of the germans.
Ps: Just posted how I enjoy your blog (see picture in my blog).

Grausig Grantiger Gemahl said...

Ps: Different name of this haircut, I was tought by a friend is "short back and sides).

Ακκανούρης said...

I shave the head every alternate day. Thus, no fuss, no hair products and above all, no meaningless football-politics conversations at the barber.

Overall, I couldn't agree more with your post

Stockton Andrews II said...

I don't believe in taking chances;setting number one with clippers. Sideburns never below the tragus.

Richard said...

I visit my barber every 4 weeks, and keep a nice side part.

Anonymous said...

really???

Anonymous said...

I don't care for short hair; reminds of my service in Vietnam. I do, however, like facial hair (except on women). I recently started going to an old style barber shop. I get a better cut for less money and best of all, there is absolutely nothing pc about the place; they even do straight razor shaves.

Pete said...

The relationship with a man's barber is scared.

Anonymous said...

Pete,

Is that "scared, scarred or sacred?"

Crosse Blackwell said...

@Chelsea Whitard:

Some readers might not recognize the unidentified Man from Missouri.

I'll print out this photo of HST and take it with me whenever I'm out-of-town and have to go to a new barber.

A.E.F. said...

"You'll find men who take care of themselves in this manner make better, more attentive lovers."

Hmm. On reflection Admiral, I can concur - you're absolutely spot on, as usual.

Camford said...

Not only President Truman's haircut, but his clear P3 eyeglass frames and discreet plaid necktie are true classics.

Oxbridge said...

It was rumored that President Kennedy had his hair cut every day. When asked why, he said:

"A gentleman should never look as if he needs a haircut, or has just had one."