28 October 2011

Hair By Cougar

I could never be a bartender. Not only would I drink the merchandise, but I could never tolerate the customers' nonsense and bullshit stories. Too much talking, not enough drinking. Just shut the fuck up and drink. And while you're at it, get a fucking life. Barbers must feel the same way. The woman who cuts my hair is a hot Vietnamese cougar. She must be well into her late 40s or early 50s, but with the curves, hair, and lips of a much younger woman. She sports subtle blonde highlights in her medium-length hair, which I've always interpreted without fail as a sign of an Asian woman's interest in European men. I've no interest in Asian women myself, but female magic in action from whatever source is lovely to behold. She has a soft, sweet, lisping accent. The effect is utterly charming. As you know, my hair is cropped according to the traditional Prussian configuration--#1.5 on the back and sides and #3 on top. She accuses me of being a cop, soldier, or nazi...and then she laughs. We go through this routine every other time I visit her. The last time I saw her she had a black eye on her left side, which she endeavoured to cover up with loads of make-up. It didn't work.

15 comments:

Bourbon&Pearls said...

Probably a Botox war wound.

A.E.F. said...

Tabs really, clipper wielding Vietnamese hairdressers in OC can't afford botox!
It's obvious she'd been beaten up by her pimp...

Anonymous said...

LOL! Coddy, I thought you hated orientals? Make up your mind already!

Anonymous said...

A far cry from 'mystery meat' roaming the hallowed halls of British Public Schools, are they not? Glad you see the appeal.

Main Line Sportsman said...

Never let a woman cut your hair....should be done by an older Italian guy named Jimmy who still has Playboy for the waiting customers and alternates the shop music between Sinatra,Puccini and some Do-Wop from late 50's.

Straight Arrow said...

She looks like you could easily get AIDS just being in the same room as her.

SFO Barber said...

Each manufacturer of clipper blades uses a different numbering system, so, for example an Oster 1.5 and 3 are different from a Wahl 1.5 and 3. The numbers by themselves mean nothing unless one knows the manufacturer.

Thirty Miles At Sea said...

I usually get my hair cut by an old school dago, but when I'm at grad school and need a trim I head to Korea Town. Good food, pretty ladies, and the last bastion of civilization before entering the inner city.

As for the picture...apparently I the only one who finds fake tits completely unattractive. They look like someone stapled a couple of soccer balls to her. Give me the real thing, even if they're smaller.

NJS said...

I play safe as 'er indoors cuts my hair.

La Sombra Sofisticada said...

Bartender + Barber = Hair of the dog? Cheers!

Anonymous Texan said...

Concur w/MLS, just like the men's locker room or grill. Not a place for girly men or willie worka daddies.Might add Popular Mechanics to the reading list.Enuff said.

v. Braun. said...

I'm frequenting a male barber now. In my student days I went to a Japanese woman- mainly to improve my language skills- who did a terrible job hair-wise. She had been some sort of actress in Japan, she told me, and I heard it rumoured that she led a bit of a licentous life. She died of a heart attack when she was in her 40s.

MGM said...

Let me just point this out: If you get your haircut in the way you seem to be suggesting, which is, basically, a buzz cut, then it is silly to go to a hair stylist or anything like Fantastic Sams or Super Cuts. These people use scissors and are all about "styling" hair. If you just get a buzz cut, then you are wasting their time and your money by going to these places. You should instead go to a barber, where they only use electric clippers.

When I used to get a buzz cut in the way you specify, I would go to barbers, because that is what they do. Now, however, I wear my hair a bit longer, and when I get it cut, I want to keep the same shape, just trimmed up a bit, so I go to Super Cuts, where the women there just use scissors to trime me up while keeping the basic shape and style of my hair.

However, something else is to be said for the atmosphere of barbers vis-a-vis hair stylists. Many people like going to barbers because of the "male" or "masculine" milieu of such places. Just know that you are sacrificing style for atmosphere unless, of course, you like getting buzz cuts.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

A.E.F. ~ That's what I thought.

Anon @08:04 ~ As you know, I am all about love. I hate no one except our traitors. My appreciation of the sex appeal of a foreign female does not mean I want to breed with her, or would permit her and her people to live in my country.

Anon @8:06 ~ I do see the attractions of the odd slapper. Who among us here does not...?!

MLS ~ I would if I could.

SFO Barber ~ Oster only, if I can help it.

Anonymous said...

How can that style of haircut be Prussian? Electric hair-clippers only became widespread after Prussia had ceased to exist.