14 November 2013

Whoring at Whole Foods

In an exclusive report, I'd like to reveal to you one of my favourite hunting grounds for meeting new ladies: Whole Foods Market (WF). I usually frequent the location near me in Laguna Beach (at left). Last year a new store opened in Newport Beach. I've spent considerable time since then prowling the aisles in search of new meat. And by new meat I don't refer only to chemical-free bacon or organic grass-fed ribeye steaks. If you're looking to meet young women, I strongly recommend this place. The following are some reasons I do so.

Hotties

The girls who shop there are likely to be hotter than average. Hot girls take care of themselves and eat healthy organic foods. They are into yoga, pilates, CrossFit, BuffyShot, and other esoteric hot chick practices. Hot girls are more likely to have high-paying jobs and therefore are more able and willing to pay more for good, well-prepared foods. The girls shopping there are also likely to be single. If you stop by after work, say, between 6:00pm and 8:00pm, you will observe the single career girls buying prepared meals to take home. For those interested in these demographics, hot MILFs and cougars are also known to patrol these waters. The latter are a bit more aggressive than their younger sisters. I've been approached and chatted up many times by interested females, so much so that it didn't take me long to connect the dots. WF is proving to be a prime hunting ground. Need I say more?

Hipsters

On the upside, you're not likely to have much competition. WF is often frequented by hipsters and beta males: skinny, nerdy, pale men wearing lumberjack clothing, chinos or cheap suits. Many of them appear startlingly young, almost effeminate. Others are chubby and well-fed in their Dockers. Often these beta-boys work at local corporations and show up in groups at lunch time to peruse the buffet stands. As a fogey stud disguised as a member of the professional classes, in undercover mode, you have an advantage. With competition like this, hunting WF is like shooting fish in a barrel. Go for it.

Connected to this is the fact that sub-hominid males of the lower humanoid species are unlikely to shop at WF, as few if any can afford it. The ghetto tones and chimpouts that would ordinarily result from their presence in, say, a sports bar or nightclub, are minimized here.

WF provides a civilised environment in which to hold a decent conversation and deploy your pussy-pleasing banter to your frozen heart's content.

Props

One of the advantages of WF is the presence of numerous interesting props. Use these items as an excuse around which to construct a conversation. The prepared food tables are a good place to start. Ask the ladies about the quality of, say, the roasted peppers or sautéed kale. The meat section is also a suitable area offering plenty of opportunities to discuss the differences between organic vs. grass fed. My favourite spot at the moment is the nut section, where one can talk about sprouted almonds. Careful, though: hippies and bolshevik-leaning chicks tend to gravitate towards this area.

Keep in mind, as a man shopping at WF you are perceived as part of an elite class. It is, after all, a place where White People Like To Shop. It demonstrates your financial ability and willingness to buy expensive food items and an interest in healthy-eating and nutrition. Hot girls like that. These reasons alone would suffice to make WF a prime pick-up environment for the aspiring stud. Take note.

8 comments:

Ordnungssinn said...

Spot on!

Even going with the wife doesn't stop the single women from playing the game.

Probably doesn't help wearing a Real Madrid Ultras Sur shirt and a beard.

It always seems to be the hygiene section at my location. Chicks dig soap.

Tabitha said...

Oh the chiquitas are stunning there especially in your part of the world, the one I go to in LA is aisle upon aisle of lycra clad beauties.

w. adam mandelbaum esq. said...

Maybe they should call it "Hole Foods"

Anonymous said...

Hate to be a bit of a buzz kill to your latest entry, but you wrote "male" as reference to us nationalist types. Sorry but "male" is best left to describe a lab rat about to take a needle. "Man" being preferable IMO. "Man" being able and willing of course to complete the Fuck Trifecta, slap the ass, tug the hair, fuck the pussy.

GSL said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Straight Arrrow said...

Mon Amiral,

It's true that WF provides one with an opportunity to escape from the lesser races who infest Southern California, but I see more fags there than I do hot lovelies.

jubal early said...

I disagree. I do not like meeting women at places such as grocery stores. The whole encounter is totally artificial. And what is more, the best you can hope to get is her number, and then you have to follow up, through repeated texts, and plans that are canceled and re-rescheduled. Perhaps I am spoiled, but I expect to take a girl home the same night I meet her. That is when my lust for them is the strongest. The more I get to know a particular woman, the less interested in her I become. And the only real place to take a woman home the night you meet her is at a bar.

Do not neglect the beauty of bars. I have basically perfected the art of picking up girls in bars.

Poloist12 said...

Where have I been!? I didn't know that I wasn't suppose to be shopping at WF, damn I also didn't know I was suppose to be broke and can't afford shit. What a crock of racist horse shit. There are plenty of blacks and Hispanics that can afford to eat healthy, they just don't due to cultural reasons. I DO eat healthy; grow my own, or shop at places such as this. Oh and I do very well in life as well. Car, home, travel some, etc and I'm black. Oh the shocker.